HUMILITY

I am honestly amazed by how proud, people have become... 

Social class (with it, proud and arrogance) has become such a way of life that people tend to think it is the only way for them to survive. It could be a shield used to protect who they truly are inside, who knows? But confidence is indeed very different from pride.

Those who are comfortable in life are worst – always comparing themselves to others, constantly complaining and lawyers get the trophy for such. Most of my lawyer friends have so much pride, it is unbelievable. My friend Edward Kasaine, is however the complete opposite and yes he is a lawyer. Edy is simply a wonderful, down to earth person and oh how could I forget? Mr. X, my bad.

Mr. X (who does not want his name to be mentioned) is an amazing man. What makes him different is that he is a lawyer who once a week dress differently, goes in the streets, seat with the unemployed in the Nairobi ‘jobless corner’ and listen to their problems.

‘God says when you are humble you are free from pride and arrogance.’ Unfortunately pride is built from a very early age and I completely blame the parents for that. Parents are working so hard to provide for their children and give them the very best if not everything they themselves lacked that they forget the basic necessity of life- necessities that are much higher than what money can buy and which will be remembered long after the money is gone: wisdom, humility, kindness, politeness, respect are some of the many virtues parents should inculcate in a child.

I grew up in a very affluent family and yes I was spoilt. I had everything I wanted, had my own house girl whose job was well hilarious, she would go to the kitchen and get me some water when asked, while my 16 years old butt would be comfortable in the couch watching TV simply because of some superstitions created by West Africans and trust me you don’t want to go there.

Despite having all I needed, my parents (mother and grandmother mostly) taught me the importance of respect from a very early age. I remember the day I referred to our local man selling charcoal as ‘charcoal man’; the lesson I got, was something I will never forget. I was 12 then if I am not wrong; my mother ordered me down, looked at me straight into my eyes and asked me why I was referring to him as such yet he had a name.

‘I don’t know his name,’ was my answer

‘Have you ever asked him?’ Was her reply

‘That is how everybody else calls him and…. he sells charcoal’ I continued

‘Should you be called useless just because you don’t work, live under my roof, eat my food? 

How would you feel if someone referred you by what you do especially if you are less privileged?’

You can guess what my answer was. Yap silence.

‘Just because he sells charcoal, she continued  ‘doesn’t make him anything less or give you the right to call him the way you do, he has a name so go find out what it is, if he is married and if he has any children you can play with’

‘Me? Play with his children?’

Well I wished I had not asked that question because there and then, for the first time, I knew I needed to fear my mother.

                                                       The love of my life, my mother

 

I remember seeing my grandfather who then a Mayor, would seat with Mohammed ‘the charcoal man real name’ or the kiosk lady and have various discussion or my uncle a diplomat, have tea with the watchman. I remember seeing my mother and grandmother cooking every week for the less fortunate and sharing the food in the Mosque, Church and in the street. I remember telling myself that this is how I wanted to be and with each passing year, my desire was higher. My grandfather passed away in 1996 and it is amazing how more than 10years later, when someone introduces me as his granddaughter, they cry and tell me how kind hearted he was and all the things he did for his community. 

I have a very close friend whose father is a Minister in the Kenyan Government.  We are so closed that the first time I found out whose child he was, I could barely believe it and most Kenyans would know what I am referring to. This is a man when we would travel and would not have enough space for everyone to sleep, he would make sure everyone was comfortable and sleep on the floor. Remember his father is a Minister... 

He uses public transport/ matatu as locally referred to, yet many are his cars. 

The most amazing thing he ever did for me was during a group trip we had. We ended spending more days than previously planned at the location. We all looked dirty, smelled bad- horrible trip it was. Our car broke down one day before our return to Nairobi and there was no water yet the following day I was to attend a meeting and my clothes were all dirty.  I don’t know where he found the water from and much less the time to wash my clothes yet we all slept at midnight that day; but he did so. His siblings are all similar; these indeed reflect the kind of education he received.

‘’The reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches and honor and life.’’ Proverbs 22:4

Parents need to understand how easy it is for a child to be negatively influenced. More than anything else, it is the little action you display as a parent that influences your child. Your action as a parent can affect the way your child will behave and how he/she will become.  At the rate the world is going, don’t bring in a child similar or worst to what we are witnessing but bring up someone who will positively influence and lead others and make this world a better place.

Beside life can take such unexpected turns that you will realize later the importance of humility like I did when we lost most of our wealth….I thank GOD however because my siblings and I always remained humble with or without the money. I sincerely thank GOD for the family HE gave me.